Prelude Melodia Africana I by Ludovico Einaudi
Opening Words by Andrew M. Hill (adapted)
For moments of unexpected appreciation and surprise
from which we glimpse some new perspective
on our lives,
we say ‘thank you’.
Be these moments of joy,
or, inevitably, of sorrow,
may we, in whatever part of life,
continue to grow in appreciation
and in spirit,
for the best of life surrounding us.
Chalice Lighting (you may wish to light a candle in your own home at this point). (words by Cliff Reed)
May ours be a morning light to guide the young;
a shining noonday sun to make our life’s way plain;
and a fire, warm and welcoming,
when evening comes.
Opening Prayer
Spirit of Life and Love,
be with us as we gather for worship,
each in our own place.
Help us to feel a sense of community,
even though we are physically apart.
Help us to care for each other,
in this world in which the clouds
of war, poverty, and climate change hover.
May we keep in touch however we can,
and help each other, however we may.
Help us to be grateful for the freedoms we have
and to respect the wishes of others.
May we hold in our hearts all those
who are grieving, lost, alone,
victims of violence and war,
suffering in any way,
Amen
Reading from Ageing with Excitement by Andrew M. Hill, from With Heart and Mind
I had my first winter flu jab yesterday… I’d gone to the doctor’s for a… blood test and found that, because I will be sixty-five by 31st March, I was flagged for an annual flu jab and a once-in-a-lifetime pneumonia jab. I was excited enough about these messengers of old age to completely forget that I’d put a couple of cereal bars in my pocket for a pre-breakfast snack on the way home. I wanted to get there and celebrate!
Fancy being excited about getting old! And yet, of course, I’m far from ready to die. I may soon be sixty-five, but there’s so much that I want to do once my time is all my own. I want time to explore living in a new city and a new environment. I want time to do so many of the things which I have had little time to do while in someone’s employ. I want space to write a book and to haunt libraries and museums and art galleries. I want to go as far as my bus pass and rail card will let me; and heavens, absolutely no polluting domestic air travel making the planet unfit for future generations of ‘wrinklies’ to appreciate.
And I want time to set my own timetables and not be managed by anyone else’s clock – apart, that is, from the call for a flu jab.
Alternative Lord’s Prayer
Spirit of Life and Love, here and everywhere,
may we be aware of your presence in our lives.
May our world be blessed.
May our daily needs be met,
and may our shortcomings be forgiven,
as we forgive those of others.
Give us the strength to resist wrong-doing,
the inspiration and guidance to do right,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
We are your hands in the world; help us to grow.
May we have compassion for all living beings,
and receive whatever life brings,
with courage and trust.
Amen
Reading Autumn Life Reflection by Malcolm Sadler, from With Heart and Mind
Sixty – Seventy – milestones on life’s journey,
the autumn of one’s years.
Friends and acquaintances fall by the wayside,
leaving unfillable gaps.
Living on borrowed time – if the Bible is to be believed.
Inevitability – the march of the seasons.
Shakespeare’s ‘slippered pantaloons’ seem all too real
‘sans teeth, sans everything’
seems just around the corner
as years take their inevitable toll.
One dreads them having any effect on the mind.
But it is not too late!
there is much more time for other people,
there is still time for love,
much more love – hugs of real pleasure.
Don’t delay – now is the time
to change someone’s life for the better.
Love is what life is about.
At the end one can genuinely say:
‘My living has not been in vain.’
Prayer In One Direction by Cliff Reed, From Carnival of Lamps
Our lives move in one direction, but we need not fear the destination. There are worse things than journey’s end, if end it be…
Worse things, like living without purpose, living without love, living without ever having seen the gossamer in autumn.
Spirit of Life, we are grateful for the things we need for our existence – our food and drink, our shelter from the storm, the clothes on our backs; the basics that everyone on earth should have.
But, as Jesus said, ‘life is more than food’. Help us to receive with gratitude the things we need to live; the loving touch, the word of comfort, the vision of earth’s glory, the sense of your presence in all Creation.
Above all, help us to know you in ourselves and in those we meet – though sometimes we make it hard.
Our lives move in one direction, there is no going back. May joy be ours on the journey; joy in sharing it with those who share the Way. However long the road, however hard, help us, amid the tears, always to find reasons for laughter, song, and praise as we travel together.
May it be so, Amen
Reading from The Seasoned Soul by Eliza Blanchard
From the vantage point of adulthood, we may newly appreciate how our childhoods, even our teenage years, were like presents, unearned and unexpected. The gifts of health, energy, and delight in the unfolding world came simply wrapped. Most of us don’t recall unwrapping them – we just rolled out of bed each day, went to school, learned to play… with our friends, did our homework (sometimes), and fell asleep easily. These are gifts only a mother as generous as Nature could give.
In our middle years, we begin to notice our elders reporting aches and pains, encountering limitations, or experiencing other difficulties. When we face something new or difficult for the first time, we often call on experts. We might read books, consult the Internet, take classes, or talk to others who have more experience. We can glean certain techniques, adopting ideas that work for us and rejecting those that don’t. We might then adapt or even invent approaches as we go.
But this is technique. If aging is an art, then artistry grows from a passion for expressing ourselves. Our passion flows from thankfulness for the ever-shifting and transforming gift of life. By observing, practicing, adapting, and creating responses to the happenings of our lives, we mature, becoming time’s artisans.
Time of Stillness and Reflection For Old Age by John O’Donohue, from Benedictus
May the light of your soul mind you.
May all your worry and anxiousness about your age
Be transfigured.
May you be given wisdom for the eyes of your soul
To see this as a time of gracious harvesting.
May you have the passion to heal what has hurt you,
And allow it to come closer and become one with you.
May you have great dignity,
And a sense of how free you are,
Above all, may you be given the wonderful gift
Of meeting the eternal light that is within you.
[silence]
May you be blessed;
And may you find a wonderful love
In your self for your self.
Musical Interlude I Giorni by Ludovico Einaudi
Address Aging Gracefully
It is the end of August. Where has the year gone? Next week, the children will be going back to school, and the older ones will be going up to university, or beginning apprenticeships or jobs (if they are lucky). Yet for those of us who are older, September is just another month; time is passing far too rapidly for comfort.
Growing older is something which happens to us all, at a rate of twenty-four hours each day, if we are lucky. And we can choose whether to moan and groan about our new limitations, or we can choose to age with grace and excitement, turning into the wise elders so needed by every family, every community.
Our readings and prayers today have shown how positive the ageing process can be, so long as we are in the right frame of mind. Yes, we may not have as much energy as we used to have. Tasks which we would have fulfilled with ease a decade ago, may leave us tired today. We can no longer take our health for granted. Some of us may be on enough pills to make us rattle, which keep our symptoms of ageing under control.
And yet, there is (or there should be) something joyous about crossing the threshold from ‘middle age’ to ‘oldie’. For me, this has been most clearly demonstrated by becoming a grandparent – my grandchildren are such a source of joy to me. Another is the pride I feel in my children as they take on the mantle of becoming parents, and doing so well at it (far better than I ever did, but I must have done something right, because they have both turned out so well).
I will be reaching the age of retirement in six months’ time, and am looking forward to having more free time. Although retired ministers among my friends have warned me that this could be an illusion – one went so far as to say that they are as busy as they ever were – they just don’t get paid as much! And I will not be giving up my Unitarian activities entirely… but I will be able to pick and choose which I do.
However, like Andrew Hill, I’m planning to “age with excitement”. Like him, I want “time to do so many of the things which I have had little time to do while in someone’s employ. I want space to write a book and to haunt libraries and museums and art galleries. I want to go as far as my bus pass and rail card will let me.” As long as my resources of health and energy permit, I’m planning to spend as much time with my grandchildren as possible, to continue to write and research new books, and to explore new places and enjoy new experiences.
I also plan to share the love I feel for people, as widely as I can. I loved Malcolm Sadler’s inspirational words: “But it is not too late! there is much more time for other people, there is still time for love, much more love – hugs of real pleasure. Don’t delay – now is the time to change someone’s life for the better. Love is what life is about.”
“Love is what life is about.” Yes. That is a deep truth indeed. I think we can never grow old, so long as we continue to be open to love – love of neighbour, love of family, love of community, love of nature, love of God. I attended Rev Keith Hill’s funeral on 22nd August, at Kingswood. The chapel was packed, not only with family members, ministerial friends, and people from the congregation, but also with people from the village. All of whom had experienced the pastoral love Keith spread around the village during his forty-year ministry.
As we grow older, the things which excite us change, as our way of life changes. We gain a new appreciation for things we took for granted when we were younger. As Eliza Blanchard wrote in our third reading, “The gifts of health, energy, and delight in the unfolding world came simply wrapped. Most of us don’t recall unwrapping them – we just rolled out of bed each day, went to school, learned to play… with our friends, did our homework (sometimes), and fell asleep easily.” When I was at polytechnic, I thought nothing of burning the candle at both ends: working hard all day on an essay, then partying into the early hours of the morning. These days, although I still rise early (at 6 am) staying up much beyond 9.30 pm is unusual, and I need a lie-in the next day if I do.
Things which excited me as a young adult included the discovery of a new author or book (still true), a night out with friends (now a rarity), and exploring new places (still true). So perhaps I have not changed as much as I think. But I now know that I need to pace my pleasures, look after my body, which has served me faithfully all these years, and not try to do too much in any given week. Which last lesson I learned painfully in the Spring, when I came down with shingles, after trying to do just that.
As a younger person, I would never have dreamed that my hobby of crocheting would bring me so much pleasure. It began only a decade ago, but in that time I have crocheted many blankets and shawls, mainly for friends and family, and now get ridiculously excited when I am planning a new crochet project, and a new parcel of wool arrives at the front door. Crochet is a quiet, yet fulfilling, pleasure, which keeps my mind and hands occupied in the evenings. And every stitch is made with love, as I think about the person it is destined for.
I have always found the words of Kahlil Gibran inspirational. One of my favourite quotes is this: “And what is it to work with love? It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth. It is to build a house with affection, even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house. It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit. It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit. Work is love made visible.”
I cannot think of a better way of describing a fruitful life, which is available to us at any age. So long as we continue to do whatever it is we do, with love in our hearts, we will remain young in spirit.
I have found that another gift of growing older is the ability to stand back and see the bigger picture. When we are younger, and lack experience, every new event can seem cataclysmic in its impact. Whereas, when we have “been around the block a few times”, the chances are, we will be able recognise that latest happening as having a similarity with something in our past. Of course, it is how we respond which matters. If our response is, “Oh, no! Not again!” then we will continue the cycle of emotional reactivity, and get precisely nowhere. But if we are able to stand back, at least a little, we may be able to discern the pattern behind the event, remember how it turned out last time, and then take appropriate action. Which may be to walk away, refuse to engage with it. Or it may be to roll up our sleeves and strive to make a positive difference to the probable outcome.
The choice is always ours. Or, almost always. Of course, if we are suddenly stricken down by a serious illness, accepting our new limitations may be very difficult. The first instinct will almost inevitably be to rail against our fate, and to bemoan our lost future. Coming to terms with reduced capacity, of whatever kind, is not easy, at any time of life. In her wonderful book, The Seasoned Soul, Eliza Blanchard quotes a man called Peter Barton, who received a terminal cancer diagnosis near his fiftieth birthday. He wrote, “I promised myself that I wouldn’t have a bad day for the rest of my life. If someone was wasting my time, I’d excuse myself and walk away. If a situation bothered me or refused to get resolved, I’d shrug and move on.” Wow. Blanchard comments: “We don’t need to have a terminal disease to know that our days are given to us, not earned. We can all vow to embrace life’s twists and turns as opportunities for choosing happiness.”
So let us resolve to age gracefully, with excitement, choosing love over loss, and sharing over closing in on ourselves. We (and everyone who surrounds us) will be much happier for it. In Cliff Reed’s words, “However long the road, however hard, help us, amid the tears, always to find reasons for laughter, song, and praise as we travel together.”
May it be so, Amen
Closing Words
Spirit of Life and Love,
Our time together is drawing to a close.
May we learn to make the most of each day,
aging gracefully, and with excitement.
May we return to our everyday world refreshed,
may we share the love we feel,
may we look out for each other,
and may we keep up our hearts,
now and in the days to come.
Amen
Postlude Stella del Mattino by Ludovico Einaudi