Prelude Chanson de Matin by Edward Elgar
Opening Words by Cliff Reed
We are here to love –
to love each other,
to love our frail, wounded selves,
to love our broken world,
and to love its suffering people.
Let us worship so that
love will flow.
Chalice Lighting (you may wish to light a candle in your own home at this point). Words by Laura Dobson:
We light our chalice candle as a symbol of the light of love.
The light reminds us that love is the greatest power in the world,
the love we share and bless each other with,
here in our beloved community;
the love we take out into the world,
bearing and sharing the light,
wherever we are and whoever we are with,
every day of our lives.
Opening Prayer
Spirit of Life and Love,
Be with us as we gather for worship,
Each in our own place.
Help us to feel a sense of community,
Even though we are physically apart.
Help us to care for each other,
In this world in which Covid has not yet gone away,
And the clouds of war and climate change hover.
May we keep in touch however we can,
And help each other, however we may.
Help us to be grateful for the freedoms we have
and to respect the wishes of others.
May we hold in our hearts all those
Who are grieving, lost, alone,
Suffering in any way,
Amen
Reading from If Two Are Good, from The Seasoned Soul by Eliza Blanchard
While some of us thrive primarily on time and space to be alone, most of us do best when our solitude is balanced with time in the company of others.
As we retire, experience the empty nest, move, or otherwise leave the familiar, we become more intentional about keeping our spirits warm, our souls productive, and our hearts bound to other hearts.
Imagine making of your life a three-fold or eight-fold cord. You must choose your material from the most resilient vines, the silkiest grasses, and the strongest fibers. You will need lots of space in order to shape the cords individually, and then you will need to braid them together. The separate cords become one cord, but each remains distinctive. Once finished, the braided cord must be treated with care, used judiciously and, always, gratefully.
Think of being snugly woven into a thickly braided rope. Intertwining relationships keep us from unravelling, and help us to do compassionate deeds we couldn’t do alone. They also help keep us accountable to something or someone beyond ourselves.
This kind of interdependence makes us stronger as individuals and more responsive to one another in community.
Alternative Lord’s Prayer
Spirit of Life and Love, here and everywhere,
May we be aware of your presence in our lives.
May our world be blessed.
May our daily needs be met,
And may our shortcomings be forgiven,
As we forgive those of others.
Give us the strength to resist wrong-doing,
The inspiration and guidance to do right,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
We are your hands in the world; help us to grow.
May we have compassion for all living beings,
And receive whatever life brings,
With courage and trust. Amen
Reading Why We Are Here by Cliff Reed, from Spirit of Time and Place
We are not here to judge,
but to live as best we can,
in peace and harmony with
our neighbours, always aware
of our own shortcomings.
We are not here to condemn,
but to give such encouragement
and assistance as we can to those
we meet along the road.
We are not here to lecture others on goodness,
but to ask how well we match up
to the best that we know, the vision
in our souls, and then try harder.
We are not here to claim a place with the ‘elect’,
a place in heaven,
but to live on this earth with love in our hearts
and kindness in our deeds,
just like everyone else.
We are not here to speak for God,
but to heed the divine voice in ourselves
and to be the divine presence in this
glorious, complex and suffering world.
We are here to love our neighbour
as we love ourselves; to be human
to the best of our ability.
Prayer by Tony McNeile (adapted)
Spirit of Life and Love,
Let us give thanks for the blessings in our lives.
Let us feel the warmth of family love embracing us.
Let us feel the richness of friendships, let us give thanks for the care and support family and friends give to us.
They are a blessing to us whether we gather them to us when we are filled with celebration. We bless them, for the times when they come to comfort us.
Let us give thanks that we are blessed with senses that can take in the beauty of the earth around us, for the glorious colours of a vibrant summer.
Let us fill our hearts with awe at the miracle of life.
Let us bless the goodness of people who help us in our day to day living, who treat us with courtesy and respect.
Let us give thanks for prayer.
Prayer that takes our thoughts and our wishes and our hopes into the spiritual world and the ear of heaven.
Blessed be prayer.
In prayer we confess, in prayer we praise.
In prayer the soul is open.
In prayer the soul receives the love that flows through the universe.
Love that can lift the crestfallen spirit, love that can console, love that repairs and restarts the emotional self that has been damaged by the experiences of life.
Blessed be prayer and this worshipping community.
Amen
Reading from We Rest, from The Seasoned Soul by Eliza Blanchard
“There is a love holding me. There is a love holding you. There is a love holding all. We rest in that love.” Rebecca Parker.
Simple, tough words to live by. And all the tougher if we don’t feel held by anything, if we don’t feel loved. What is “a love” anyway?
Suspend disbelief for a moment, assume this love exists, and ponder its attributes. It might feel like a palpable warmth, a feeling of soft strength enfolding you. Or it could be a sense that you’re surrounded by and even filled with light.
Think of your favourite way of being held. Imagine that you are held that way this very moment. Find a peaceful place, somewhere you can gently speak to yourself out loud. Consider the text below a chant; chanting helps abstractions to enter the chambers of our hearts:
I am held, and you are held, and all are held. Held in love, with love, by Love.
Held not by obligation or guilt, but by love. When was the last time you noticed the embrace of the Universe? Imagine being held in huge, warm, cradling hands. Imagine being held, not in the way of duty or greeting, but unconditionally and abidingly.
Sometimes it’s impossible to feel lovable. How can there be a love so deep, so wide, so unending? Can it really embrace us, frail, torn, or unrepentant as we may feel.
I am held, and you are held, and all are held. Held in love, with love, by Love.
Time of Stillness and Reflection words by Yvonne Aburrow
Focus on your breathing, just noticing the soft rising and falling of your belly, or the breath as it comes in at your nostrils.
Now be aware of your body – this bag of bones and water that carries you around.
This body full of experience – joys and sorrows.
This body with the capacity to love, to laugh, to weep, to feel pain, to feel ecstasy.
Love your body and care for it as you would care for a child.
Be aware of the tensions and the unspoken feelings stored in your body, and let yourself gently experience them, and be comforted by the soft animal grace of your body.
Just be with your body for a while. [silence]
Now become aware of your body’s capacity for connection with others, [pause]
and for connection with the beauty of nature [pause],
and for connection with the Divine [pause].
Know that you are worthy of love… your body is worthy of love… you are loved.
Musical Interlude Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy
Address The Power of a Hug
Last Saturday, we had a Woolley Family gathering – my son, his partner, and their two sons came over from Northampton, and my daughter, her partner, and their son came all the way from Kilnhurst in South Yorkshire. Many hugs were given and received – we are a close family, which I appreciate so very much.
The boys had not all seen each other since Christmas and it was wonderful to watch them interacting (they are seven, eighteen months, and nine months). It was a particular delight to see the seven year old playing with the little ones – he is such a good big brother and cousin.
In the afternoon, we walked up into Salcey Forest, and on the way back, the seven year old began a conversation about the different powers of Pokémon characters – he is nuts about them. He decided that “slashing” was his power, and that his cousin’s was dribbling (he is teething at present). Then he asked, “Nannie Sue, what would your power be?” And I answered straight away, “the power of hugging.”
For me, there is nothing quite like the powerful physical connection of a loving hug. I’ve always been a big hugger, which I inherited from my Mum. There’s a sad story behind that – her own mother died when she was two and she was brought up by her maiden aunt, who attended to morals and manners, but was not good at outward affection. So when she had her own children, Mum more than made up for it. I can remember feeling completely secure in the circle of her arms, knowing that I was loved.
I believe that our primary purpose in this world is to love one another as we are loved. As Cliff Reed commented in our second reading, “We are here to love our neighbour
as we love ourselves; to be human to the best of our ability.” Yet sometimes, it can feel as though we are cut off from the rest of humankind, particularly if we live alone. Which is why it is so important to reach out to others, to be enfolded in loving community. As Eliza Blanchard commented in our first reading, “As we retire, experience the empty nest, move, or otherwise leave the familiar, we become more intentional about keeping our spirits warm, our souls productive, and our hearts bound to other hearts.” I would add, we need to do this.
In his fascinating book, The Unitarian Way, the late Philip Hewett wrote, “Human beings do not live in isolation. We are what we are as a result of continuous interaction with an environment that is not separated from our own essential nature by any impenetrable boundary. We are all of us continually being defined and redefined by the whole constellation of relationships into which we enter. … The living of my life in a spiritual sense is a continuous process of incorporating new relationships into the ever-changing pattern which constitutes my identity. … In a spiritual sense, the quality of living is enhanced by multiplication and exercise of my positive relationships to the cosmos as a whole, to the world of living things, and to other human beings.”
There is a lot of food for thought here. Unless we walk through life with our eyes, minds and hearts shut, we will inevitably be influenced and changed by the actions and words of people with whom we come into contact, whether it is a casual encounter in the street, a member of our family, or of our spiritual community. And, of course, our actions and words influence everyone else. I suppose another way of putting it would be to quote John Donne’s famous meditation: “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, … any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”
We are all human beings, we are all members of many communities – our families, our friends, our colleagues, our church – and we are all members of the human race. What difference can we, as individuals, make to those communities? We need to be aware that we are in a living relationship with the rest of the world, and that our words and actions can influence the fate of that world and its inhabitants, our fellow human beings, not to mention all the other living things. Whether our influence is for good or ill is up to us.
Perhaps we need to ask why we gather in community, in our individual churches, chapels or meeting houses, or online, Sunday after Sunday? These days, there are so many other things we could be doing – snoozing in bed, indulging in a little retail therapy, playing sport, surfing the internet, meeting with family or friends. But something keeps us coming – something we cannot get anywhere else. I believe it is the possibility of creating a beloved community – a circle of life and love – that keeps us faithful in our attendance.
Hewett also wrote, “Unitarians are committed to an affirmation of life in face of all life-threatening forces [and] a hopeful belief in the potentialities of human nature.” If we believe that Life with a capital L is fundamentally good (although our individual lives at any particular point may not be so good) and that all human beings have the potential to be good or evil, then we must commit ourselves to doing our best to live our lives as well as we can, in accordance with the best we know, and to make our lives and the lives of those we touch as good as we can. This is what being part of a Unitarian community is all about. It is about building beloved community, building circles of life and love, building safe and sacred spaces in which we can learn and grow and trust and love.
For me, it is about being in deep, heart-level connection with other people, and with the Spirit. Which is why being a member of a faith community such as ours is a very good place to start. Because here we deal with things of the heart, matters of the Spirit. Here is where we can learn about how to be in loving relationship with others and, with the foundation of this safe and sacred space behind us, be brave enough to approach others in trust and love. Here we can enfold each other in loving arms.
Philip Hewett states that “one person who stands at the point of intersection where many positive relationships meet may induce their intersection at other points as well, and thus strengthen the living and loving of others. … This view of human nature and conduct demands a fresh and creative response to each new person and each new situation.”
It means being alert, being aware, being conscious of our part in the world, and our possible influence on it, not just on Sundays, but every day of the week, every minute of the day. Quite a challenge, but we can do it, if we truly want to. We may be small in number, but that doesn’t mean that we cannot be great in heart, that we cannot bear witness to the power of love, and “thus strengthen the living and loving of others.”
I love the metaphor Eliza Blanchard used in our first reading, of the three-fold or eight-fold cord. It’s a wonderful way of explaining the importance of human interdependence, or human community. She wrote, “The separate cords become one cord, but each remains distinctive. Once finished, the braided cord must be treated with care, used judiciously and, always, gratefully. Think of being snugly woven into a thickly braided rope. Intertwining relationships keep us from unravelling, and help us to do compassionate deeds we couldn’t do alone. They also help keep us accountable to something or someone beyond ourselves. This kind of interdependence makes us stronger as individuals and more responsive to one another in community.”
I love hugging, and I love being hugged. Yet I am aware that not everyone welcomes unasked for physical contact. For some people, for a variety of reasons, being hugged without warning feels like an invasion of their space, a violation of their privacy. So I have learned to ask first, “Would a hug be welcome?” Particularly if I don’t know the person very well.
Because there are other ways of showing our love for other people – a kindly word in season, a phone call, a card in the post, even a text message to say you are thinking of them. All are ways of connecting, of showing our love for another.
We human beings are born to be in relationship; we are not supposed to be alone, not supposed to be lonely. The power of love is huge and all-encompassing; as Eliza Blanchard reminds us in our final reading, “I am held, and you are held, and all are held. Held in love, with love, by Love.”
So let us reach out to each other, make connections, and, (if appropriate and welcome) share a hug.
Closing Words
Spirit of Life and Love,
May we be aware of the vital importance
of love and connection in our lives.
May we reach out to others, surround them
with our love and caring.
May we return to our everyday world refreshed,
may we share the love we feel,
may we look out for each other,
and may we keep up our hearts,
now and in the days to come, Amen
Postlude Romance No. 1 by John Brunning